Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The sex appeal of a great head of hair

An overly confident young stylist once stood over me and said.. "You have enough hair on your head for five people!" I only allowed her to trim my ends.

And once an Old School stylist simply refused to cut a mere 3 inches off my hair. Even though I wanted her to. Her philosophy was that since I was blessed with a head of thick long hair, I needed to leave it like that! I kept her for as long as I could. Wish I knew where to find her now! Velmarie Marshall, where are you?!

In my youth, my grandmother was a professional hair stylist and master barber who was talented & gifted with a straight edged razor! After I was grown and gone.. the very first time I wa
nted an asymmetrical very short cut like that of Lisa Bonet in the Cosby Show days, the only way to get it was for my grandma to thin it out with a razor! I came all the way back to Dallas from Florida so she could do the honors!

It is true, that I do have a thick head of dark brown just past my shoulders length hair. And it's also true that, if I take a notion to cut it all off, I will. Though I might be just a little reluctant to go that far, now. Forty-something and thinking somehow I will lose my youthful edge and sex appeal if I cut it all off. And cutting it now means all or nothing.. Layers are high maintenance and I rarely have the patience and barely the resources for recurring luxury salon hair care.

A couple of days ago I went to a fast food drive-thru for a drink.. At the pick up point a young woman popped her head over the shoulder of the server working the window and asked me.. If I wouldn't mind making a donation of some of my hair (since I had so much of it) to her lost cause. It was such a fun and flattering acknowledgment that my long hair looks great not fake!

It seems odd that so many women make a point of weaving and wigging it, when all they have to do is take good care of what they were born with. And how well do I know that maintaining a beautiful head of hair is laborious. But as much fun as I've had with chopping it all off on occasion, I also love keeping
it long!

One man I was getting to know ran his fingers through my hair
with a gentle little tug and pull to my scalp. Seemingly in search of something. I realized what he was doing and told him to knock it off. "It's real!" He was one of those guys who believed that his woman should always wear a bra and never cut her hair or shave her legs. Needless to say, he didn't last very long in my camp.

As I look around, I rarely see 40something and more mature women wearing long hair styles. Are they resigned to the idea that long hair is unattractive? I've read the blog posts of others dissing the barely gray sisters who chose not to cut off their wild and wirey locks. Although I'm not even close to being even a little gray. I will get there soon. It's genetics.

But unless I wake up one morning and I miraculously have Halle
Berry's face, I'm determined to keep my feminine allure by keeping my luscious tresses long. -- That's not to say that a woman sporting a very short 'do can't be feminine and alluring. And that's not to say that Halle Berry is the only one who can pull that off! My friend here does it quite well, don't you think?

And did you notice all the buzz surrounding Sandra Bullock's hair after the Oscars? I did. So much so that I've been trying to achieve her red carpet 'do for the past week.
My hair isn't nearly as long as hers, but I pretend that it is. I think that look is irrefutably feminine and sexy. Just the way I like mine!

Hair has long been known as a symbol of female sexuality
In many cultures it is believed that the hair contains the power of the woman. And long hair will manifest the true essence of her femininity.

And here in American culture today, long hair is something that men seem to crave and desire in a woman, and women want to give it to them. I just don't get it that more women than not are content to fake it! In bed and on their heads.

And isn't this something?

A study published in the research journal Human Nature found that

Get it up!

Victorian novels described the "virtuous women" as a woman with pulled back well-brushed hair.. And the tangled and ill-kept hair was how her sexually voracious sister was described.

Edwardian women put their hair up to signify marriageability; symbolically giving up their innocence.

Some people can really up 'do it..

& some should never even try:

I Love Men With Nice Hair
I personally have strong inclinations toward a man with a nice head of hair. And truthfully, it's more often the hair than the man that can be the mane attraction.. The bald thing that's going on with many African American men, certainly turns me on. But a white dude couldn't pull that off, in my eyes.

Hair care and length is a cue to youth and health and reproductive potential. Even though I'm far beyond any interest in reproducing, many women look at a man's hair and skin just the way they look at ours! Purely from a sexual sensual perspective!

The Art of "Good" Black Hair
When black slaves were freed in the Americas, they struggled to reach the social status of whites. Many former slaves tried to conform their hairstyles as part of the struggle. Today.. the natural woman is a grass roots movement that I am hardly tempted to participate in, because I never would survive it. I love my hair straight.. Sometimes curly but more often sleek and bone straight!
Oh.. and it's definitely not "To look white" as Chris Rock has suggested in his movie "Good Hair."

The bottom line, for me, is that my great head of hair is a part of my femininity and sexuality. Whatever length or color or texture..

... as long as there is help for it in the form of flat irons, scrunch, blow dryers, gel, essential oils, sculpture lotions, hair spray and moisturizer and relaxers.. I won't always only have to let my
hair down in the bedroom but in the boardroom as well..


MOMSWEB said...

I sooo enjoyed reading this post and as I came towards the middle of it and viewed the pictures, I almost fell out of my chair. I'm speechless yet honored that you would even consider me!